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The other day while playing mahjong, we indulged in our usual gossiping
"Oh so and so broke up with his gf."
"Really, weren't they getting married?"
"Nah she wasn't really his type."
"How so?"
"Hmm let's just say she's a little bit coarse."
"Coarse? What do you mean coarse?"
In my mind I was thinking, this had better be good.
"You know, a little bit ribald....low class."
"Whaaat?!"
The mahjong resumed clacking as I pondered inward.
"I'm coarse!"
There was some awkward silence before I started berating them on being
mean and judgmental. Our game resumed, but it got me pondering on this
ubiquitous categorization of people into "classes".
My mister told me, "a person with class does not talk about it." which
made me even more disturbed about it's furtiveness.
Even as singapore prides itself on it's diverse yet harmonious
society, we still can't seem to run away from this classification (pun
intended). There is the old rich, the kuoks, the tans, the lees, (I am
randomly putting out surnames here, I don't actually know the list of
the who's who in Singapore), the nouveau riche who made bank from a
sudden windfall or business or selling millions of CDs, the middle
class and the lower income bracket. This classification is purely
monetary and should in no way determine the classiness of an
individual. Right?
So does it boil down to education? I know this girl who never made it
to college but has the classiest way of putting you at ease. A primary
school educated man who remained silent about his rivals'
indiscretions even under extreme pressure. That's classy.
Upbringing? Basic etiquette? Dressing appropriately? This can go on an on!
I define classiness as being honest really. I don't think a well
spoken/dressed/known/mannered person should be bestowed a high class
honor for what he appears to be. I would rather keep a tattered true
friend than a polished back stabber by my side. My very sartorially
adept girlfriends would think I'm being ridiculous. Oi, better wear
more rags around me ok!!
But having said all this, I do know of obviously well
dressed/mannered/etc. individuals with integrity and forthrightness
(sorry I do not know of a better word). People like Christina Ong,
Harry Lee, Kit Chan...although I don't claim to know them personally,
But they sure have proven themselves over time to be able to walk the
walk and talk the talk. As for myself, I nestle comfortably, knowing that I lie
between them and the 'coarse'. I'm sure the world has space for the
likes of me.
Thank you for reading this, at an altitude of 20000 sq ft, I bid thee
a classy adieu. Buy!
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感谢苹果老师 joyapple1 的翻译
一天，我们打麻将的时候，又开始八卦起来。
“那个某某与女朋友分手了。”
“真的啊？他们不是要结婚吗？”
“不可能，她可不是他喜欢的类型。”
“怎么会呢？”
“嗯..我觉得她有点粗俗。”
“粗俗？这话怎么讲？”
我心想，最好在这里是个褒义词。
“就是…有点恶俗…低级。”
“什么？？！！！！”
我们继续啪啪地打麻将，可我内心不禁开始思考起来。
“我才粗俗！”
突然安静下来，有些尴尬。我开始怪他们这样讲太刻薄、太主观。我们继续打麻将，但我已开始反思这个普遍存在的现象——把人划分等级。
我姐(也有可能是妹妹)告诉我，“一个有修养的人是不会讨论这个话题的。”于是我对于它的隐晦性感到更加不安。
尽管新加坡人对于我们多元但和谐的社会感到自豪，我们似乎仍然无可避免地被划分为三六九等（故意使用双关语）。我们有富裕的老人、郭氏家族、谭氏家族、李氏家族，（我在这里随意列出几个姓氏，其实我并不太了解新加坡的名人录），通过意外收获或者做生意或者卖掉几百万张CD而致富的新贵、中产阶级和低收入群体。这种划分仅仅是从金钱角度的，所以完全不应该据此判断一个人的品位和修养。是吧？
这应该归结到教育上吗？我认识从未上过大学却让你感到非常平易近人的女孩。一名只有小学学历的男人却可以顶着巨大的压力，对于他竞争对手的轻率鲁莽保持沉默。这才叫做有品位有修养。
教养？基本礼节？衣着得体？那可多去了！
我对于修养和品位的定义是要真正诚实。我不认为一个善谈的/衣着光鲜的/出名的/举止优雅的人仅根据他们的外表就可以被称作高层人士。我宁愿拥有一位衣衫褴褛的真正朋友，也不想身边有一个看起来体面却能在背后捅刀子的人。我那些很会打扮的女朋友们该觉得我不可思议了。是的，在我身边你们都穿破布好了！！
但说了这么多，我确实认识一些衣着考究、举止优雅的人却正直坦率的人（抱歉我没想出更好的形容词）。像克里斯蒂娜王, 李光耀, 陈洁仪这些人…我私下倒不是与他们很熟，但时间证明他们确实可以说到做到。对于我本人而言，我在这舒服地呆着，知道自己处于他们和‘粗俗之人’中间。我确信世界之大，可以容纳我这样的人。
谢谢你们读这篇博文，在处于海拔两万英尺的高度，我对你们优雅地说再见。拜~
注：
1、Christina Ong 是“亚洲形象工作室”（Imageworks Asia ）创办人， 她于 1995 年创建了 “亚洲形象工作室”（Imageworks Asia ）公司。她影响了数以千计的企业主管和个人的职业举止风范。
2、Harry Lee：李光耀，曾任新加坡总理，现任新加坡内阁资政。
3、Kit Chan：陈洁仪，新加坡著名实力派女歌手及舞台剧演员。 |
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